Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How's work?
Spinning.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
