??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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