That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
