I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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