After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This house was built for laser tag.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
