So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
