i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
