you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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