i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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