batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
