My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
