i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
