she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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