I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
