Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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