i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
