Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
