That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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