Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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