First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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