you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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