Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
