So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
