We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
