So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
