We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize