I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's never too late to be topless.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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