Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
