If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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