I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
