So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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