erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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