I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
