Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
