direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize