I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize