So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
