Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
