Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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