He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
