U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
