I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
