so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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