I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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