At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize