That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
