Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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