Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize