Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
