My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
