Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
