walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
