Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
