Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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