yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
ttyl tear gas
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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