the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
