I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
