Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
