brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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