wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
