Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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