Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
